Chances are you have at least one friendship group.

Most of you may have at least one you’ve got a lot of history with, whether you’ve had it since school or college.

What if you suddenly started improving and became a new, better version of yourself? Totally different from the person they first met.

How would they take that?

Self improvement scares people

People who knew the old you won’t always like the new you.

This is true if the new you is improving and looking likely to surpass them.

They’re scared that you’ll leave them behind.

You’re upsetting the balance.

It’ll highlight their own lack of improvements, and where they haven’t progressed.

Maybe they’re still in the same job that they’ve always hated or tied to the same bad habits they’ve always had.

Gaming every night. Drinking every night. Lying and cheating to themselves and their loved ones.

Eventually, whether they realise it or not, they’ll try and drag you down.

They will try to remind you of who you once were.

To restore balance.

Restoring balance to their lives

There are two ways of looking at it:

Either they will be vindictive and intentionally bring you down to their level, or they just want their life to balance back again.

Either way, don’t allow them to dictate your new trajectory.

You are doing it for you.

If you outgrow them, then so be it.

When I got sober, I lost some old friends. I wasn’t that drunk guy anymore.

I had pulled myself from rock bottom, without them. Sure I had there support but, from far away.

When push came to shove, they actually wanted to drag me back. I had a role to fulfill in their life and they wanted me back in it.

And because they weren’t moving forward in their own lives and they wanted me down at their level.

Leading by example

I’ve grown. As I’m sure you have too.

I’m not the guy that’ll fit into that mold anymore, as I’m sure you’re not.

To those of you reading this now, you’re obviously serious about your personal development. Not necessarily because you read my work, but because I imagine you read a lot of inspirational things on Twitter, etc and are putting them into action.

You are growing too.

Have you felt any pushback from trying to improve yourself?

Is it getting in your way or is it not affecting you?

You need to realise and come to terms with the fact that, this may not be the path for them, but you can lead by example and hope they follow.

Once people see you are finding your own feet and blazing your own path then you may inspire them to follow.


Do not let others stop you from your self improvement journey.

You have to look after yourself.

You can’t stop the way they view you. That is one thing life that you have no control over.

Keep pushing forward and people may follow but don’t cater to anyone.

Don’t pander to any friendship groups, or even family, because you are afraid to leave them behind.

If you’re leaving them behind it means you are progressing and they will either follow or not, you can’t decide that for them.

You can only start winning, find peace & happiness and promote a lifestyle that is attractive to them and hope they join you.

The sad and uncomfortable truth is that if they don’t want to follow and they want to bring you down, you may need to cut away the deadwood.

Take care,

Birth of Clarity

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