Addiction Whac-A-Mole: Extinguishing Fires Permanently

Birth of Clarity #22

Welcome to the Birth of Clarity newsletter.

Professionally, I’ve never been a firefighter; personally, I’ve often felt like one! It’s baffling to think of the number of fires I’ve put out over the years, some of which I thought I’d extinguished. And I’m not talking about actual fires here!

I’m talking about addiction.

Once I kicked my addiction to alcohol, I naively thought that would be it. I thought I’d conquered the one craving that was holding me back from greatness. I never thought that I would be wrestling with anything else.

I was wrong.

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Maybe you’ve thought the same. But what you might have found is that once you’ve overcome one thing, another seems to arise. You put out one fire only to be boxed in by another. The firefighting never seems to end. But why is that? And what can you do to stop it?

I’ve spoken to many men over the years who have broken the shackles of one addiction only to find themselves embroiled in a battle with something else. They beat booze only to find themselves locked in a war with porn. They put down the porn only to square up against sugary snacks.

Some men find themselves in a constant cycle of addictions:

• Sex

• Weed

• Gaming

• Cocaine

• Pain pills

• Gambling

• Social media

• Energy drinks

Beat one, battle another. It's like addiction Whac-A-Mole!

The common similarity of men stuck on this addiction merry-go-round is that they've not identified or treated the root cause of their problems.

It might sound simple but if you don’t highlight and tackle what is causing you to act out with addictive substances, etc., then you will continue to go around in circles.

As I said, I’ve been guilty of this too. Since getting sober, I’ve battled multiple addictions, the last one to go was my love for food - especially late-night popcorn and crisps.

However, as this isn’t my first rodeo, I’ve come to realise over the years, along with getting to the root cause of my problems - which can take some time as other things get uncovered - two other things are essential to stomping out these flames for good.

1. Identifying the root cause of your problems.

2. Committing yourself to a community of like-minded people.

3. Building positive routines to implement throughout your day.

These are easily doable but you have to be willing to explore all options. You cannot just do one and not the others, otherwise you will not be able to kick your destructive habits. You need to be willing to flip your negative mindset around each point so you can stop bouncing from addiction to addiction.

Identifying the root cause of your problems

This one is key. Without real knowledge of yourself and what triggers & troubles you, you will find it harder to end the vicious cycle of addiction. You will just turn to another substance to cope with life when things get tough.

Doing a deep dive internally and taking personal inventory is a valuable way of getting to know yourself properly. You need to know why you're using these substances, etc. What's the real reason?

You might find the answer is easy. Maybe it has been staring you in the face. But you might need to do some soul-searching. You might even need to hire professional help. You might need to pay someone to help you get to the bottom of why you keep on going from addiction to addiction.

There is always a reason. From past traumas to an inability to cope with feelings. You just need to find it so you can break the cycle. Believe it or not, you have the power within you to overcome anything. You just need to be ready to do the work.

Being committed to a community of like-minded people

In the early years of my recovery from alcohol addiction, I surrounded myself with sober people. I committed to them that I would do whatever it took to get sober and stay sober. I made that same commitment to other groups for addictions I’ve since overcome.

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Please check out the AFF Newsletter here where I write raw and honest articles aimed at helping dads overcome alcohol addiction (& much more):

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I’ve known men to start their own groups to facilitate their recovery from a specific addiction. I’ve done it myself. A small group of like-minded people all driven by the same goal - to kick an addiction - is an extremely powerful thing when harnessed correctly. The energy that often flows in these groups cannot be rivalled.

By committing to others striving for the same outcome - to be relieved of the curse of the addiction you’re battling - you are placing your trust in fellow human beings and asking for the same back. It’s powerful stuff.

A community working together and holding each other accountable is so important in the recovery process.

Building positive routines to implement throughout your day

A lot of the time the routines you have throughout your day will dictate its outcome. Having the right routine can be the difference between meeting a specific goal or failing to. It can be the difference between staying sober or relapsing. That’s how important they can be.

It might sound boring, but having routines to implement throughout your day can be the driving force towards having a successful, sober day. The beauty of building a routine(s) is that you can add or drop things that work/don’t work. As long as you’re staying safe and away from your addiction during the process, you can mould a routine that works for you.

If you speak to any high-performing athlete or top businessman, you can guarantee they have at least one routine that they follow religiously. It can be like that for you too.

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My friend Jack has been a fitness coach for years and his 90-day plan has helped hundreds of men. This is definitely a routine worth implementing into your day. Check it out below:

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You can build a routine for your morning, one for the whole day, one at night, or all three. Whatever works best to achieve the result you need. Then over time as the urges and cravings for the addiction wear off, you can chop and change your routine to best suit your day going forward.

By building healthy routines and mixing that with the other two points, you are on your way to breaking bad habits and kicking your addictions. You have the power and strength within you to overcome any addiction, don’t forget that.

Remember, try your best to identify the cause of why you are stuck in an addiction cycle, form/join a community and make a commitment to the people in it that you will not break, and build routines within your day to make it to bed without indulging in your addiction.

You can do this.

Thank you for reading “Addiction Whac-A-Mole: Extinguishing Fires Permanently”. If anything in this article resonated with you and you’d like to ask a question or comment, please get in touch.

Check out the last premium post “AI & the 'Secret' Addiction: The New Pandemic?”

Take care,

Roscoe | Birth of Clarity

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