Cunning, Baffling and Powerful: Understanding Alcohol Addiction

Birth of Clarity #50

Jan 15, 2025

Welcome to the Birth of Clarity newsletter on Substack.

Thank you for making my post about returning to AA one of my most read! Since writing it, I’ve attended several meetings and I’m reminded of how much strength and support I find in the rooms.

As I said before, Alcoholics Anonymous isn’t a miracle cure. Just showing up doesn’t fix everything. It’s not about quick fixes - it’s about doing the work, one day at a time.

But since I’ve gone back, something has started to shift. My mind feels clearer. I’m walking with my head up and shoulders back, and my confidence feels like it’s slowly returning. It’s like the fog is lifting, little by little.

Being in those meetings, surrounded by people who “get it,” is powerful. They understand the struggle in a way others might not. It’s a space where I don’t have to explain myself - I just belong.

But let me be real: just attending meetings doesn’t magically erase the chaos in my mind. Addiction is cunning, baffling, and powerful - and it doesn’t let go easily.

“Remember that we deal with alcohol, cunning, baffling, powerful! Without help it is too much for us. But there is One who has all power that One is God. May you find Him now!”
- Alcoholics Anonymous, 1st. Edition, How It Works, Page 58

Cunning

Addiction has a way of weaving itself into your life without you even realising it. For years, I told myself I could control my drinking. I made rules - no drinking before a certain time, only beer, never at work - but addiction doesn’t care about your rules.

Sometimes, I’d manage to quit for a while, thinking I had it under control, but then a little voice would creep in: “Just one won’t hurt,” or “You’ve been so good; you deserve it.” Before I knew it, I’d fallen back into old habits.

The cunning nature of alcohol addiction lies in its ability to convince you that you’re fine when you’re anything but. It whispers lies, telling you that drinking is the solution, when in reality, it’s the problem.

Recovery isn’t just about putting down the drink - it is about learning how to outsmart the cunning nature of addiction by changing the way you think and approach life.

Baffling

What baffles me the most is how addiction makes you act against your own best interests. I knew my drinking was hurting me. I hated the shame, the broken promises, and the way it robbed me of joy. And yet, I couldn’t stop. I’d pour another drink. Why? Why couldn’t I stop?

Looking back, I see how alcohol gave me a false sense of control. It numbed my emotions, allowed me to avoid difficult situations, and gave me a temporary escape from the stress of life. But in reality, it only made things worse.

Addiction doesn’t follow logic. It’s not as simple as just deciding to stop. That’s the baffling part. You can see the damage it’s causing, but the grip it has on you feels unshakable. It’s not something you can think your way out of.

In meetings, I’ve heard stories from others that mirror my own - how addiction baffled them into believing they could manage it on their own, how they cycled through hope and despair before finding real support. These stories remind me that I’m not alone in this struggle.

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Powerful

Alcohol had a powerful grip on my life. It didn’t just affect my actions - it dominated my thoughts, my relationships, and my sense of self. It was my escape, my crutch, and my prison all at once. I thought I was in control, but the truth was that alcohol controlled me.

It’s powerful in the way it isolates you, convincing you that you’re alone in your struggle. It’s powerful in the way it clouds your judgment, making you believe you can’t live without it.

But here’s the thing: recovery is powerful too. Sitting in those meetings, surrounded by people who understand, reminds me that I’m not powerless anymore. I’ve learned that while alcohol’s grip is strong, it’s not unbreakable.

By putting in the work - attending meetings, connecting with others, and embracing tools like exercise and mindfulness - I’ve begun to reclaim the power alcohol once had over me.

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Moving Forward

This journey isn’t over for me - it never really will be. But that’s okay. AA has taught me that recovery is about progress, not perfection. It’s about showing up, doing the work, and leaning on others when you need to.

If you’re reading this and you’re struggling, just know you’re not alone. Addiction is cunning, baffling, and powerful - but you’re stronger than you think.

Take it one day at a time. Find support, whether it’s through AA, a therapist, or a trusted friend. Read my fellow recovery authors on Substack - like

Adam PT

Dee Rambeau

and

Mike Mather

. Seek out the tools and strategies that work for you. Recovery isn’t about being perfect; it’s about being willing to try.

Every day sober is a victory.

What about you? Have you faced the cunning, baffling and powerful nature of addiction? Feel free to share your story below - we’re all in this together.

Roscoe | Birth of Clarity

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Jim Savage

Jan 17

So many good things in this post to comment on. First thing I’ll jump to is you mention sobriety is powerful too. The longer I manage my condition by doing all the things you describe as part of working a recovery program my recovery progresses just like my disease does when I’m not managing it.

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