Nature, Nourish and Nurture: A Mental Health Reset
Birth of Clarity #39
Welcome to the Birth of Clarity newsletter on Substack.
I’ve struggled to write recently. Without sugarcoating it, I was on the edge - mentally, physically and emotionally. I had some dark thoughts running through my mind. I was being tested in all aspects of my life. I guess I still am. But I wanted to write this because it could benefit someone to read this post. I hope it does.
As someone who has struggled with his mental health over the years, even since quitting alcohol, I’ve constantly looked for ways to fight back the darkness that has, on occasion, like recently, devoured my mind. I have a few trusted practices that I normally use to help battle back. However, this time they had the opposite effect.
The roads I once headed down to deal with my mental health issues suddenly became darker than ever before. I found myself in a desperate fight to find the light again. And while the devil lurked in the shadows, I searched for clarity in the chaos and discovered power and strength I never knew I had.
Before I proceed, I am fully aware that the devil takes on many disguises and I could now be walking into a pit of doom and despair. But I’ve willingly taken that risk for my sanity’s sake. I’m walking this path with the power of perspective and clarity of mind knowing that I have the strength and support to pivot again at any sign of danger.
The Birth of Clarity blog is now up and running. Here’s the latest post:
Recent issues
As I alluded to, some of the strategies I’d usually use to cope with my struggles didn’t work. In the past, helping others helped me cope with my struggles. I always remember the saying; “Helping others is the best way to help yourself.” Sadly, this time was different. Opening up and immersing myself in recovery didn’t help either.
Unfortunately, I found mixing my issues with those of others had become so overwhelming. Constantly talking about my own pain and then listening to other people express theirs made me feel like I was drowning in despair, and I was going to sink unless I made some changes. I needed a mental health reset.
When you struggle with mental health issues, you generally know what will and will not work to help you overcome them. Whether or not you take your own advice is another thing! Thankfully, this time I eventually listened to myself. After absorbing too much pain and trauma, I held my hands up and said; “I can’t do this anymore.”
When you have your own struggles and you then take on the pain and trauma of others, you can get weighed down and your day-to-day life can be affected. As I said, this is what happened to me. Ultimately, this led to a major shift in perspective and some difficult conversations, but it helped me see where I was going wrong.
Struggling with your struggles is one thing. Taking on people’s struggles when you are struggling is another. It just doesn’t work. And when you are taking on a handful of people’s problems, breaking point hits you in the head and warns you to change your approach or suffer the consequences.
This isn’t the fault of those people. I put myself in a position to try to help but exposed to their pain, my mental health suffered. Sharing my problems with them and opening up myself didn’t help. Nor did listening to mental health podcasts, watching similar content on YouTube or writing to get things off my chest. It all made things worse.
Nature, nourish and nurture
By surrounding myself with talk of sadness, I allowed dark thoughts and reoccurring pain to replace genuine laughter and joy. I’d reached my limit. I felt unequipped to handle the sadness I took on. I could not absorb any more. I didn’t want to give the pain any more power, so I had to change my approach.
I am now focused on the basics. I have reconnected with nature’s healing qualities. I am building new positive habits. I am protecting and nourishing my mind, body and soul. I am nurturing important bonds. I am focused on investing my energy in things opposite to where I found myself recently.
I am now more engaged with my son. I am guiding him with my full attention, not one taken up by thoughts of self or consumed by other people’s pain. I am nurturing our relationship. I am doing the things I tried and failed to do when I was engaged in constant talk of sadness, addiction and trauma. And I’m loving it.
Recommended reading - written by me!
I have also stopped listening to podcasts that talk about people’s pain or addictions. I am not ‘doom scrolling’ on social or engaging in outrage media. I am not flooding my mind, body and soul with negativity. I am now actively nourishing them with positive practices. And I am slowly starting to feel better.
I’ve taken responsibility for allowing other people’s problems to weigh me down and have chosen a new path to happiness and health. I realised that I had been struggling for months but I had not listened to myself. I was so consumed by pain, sadness and trauma that I couldn’t hear my inner voice crying out for help. I was inwardly suffering.
On the outside, aside from sharing my struggles, I put on a brave face. When I felt that mask slipping, I switched to silence. When I felt my inner voice rise, I suppressed it by listening to people’s problems and giving them advice. I genuinely listened and tried to help, support and be a good friend, but I was really at breaking point.
It’s hard to help yourself or others when running on empty. I don’t mean from an energy standpoint, although that is true too, I mean from a place of health. From a solid foundation. When helping others, I always come from a place of love, but when you find it hard to love yourself because of declining mental health, what help are you?
“You can’t pour from an empty cup. Take care of yourself first.” - Joseph Fleming
Now I’m back to basics, away from the constant talk of suffering - after this, I will have a break from writing about this subject for a while - I am immersing myself in the power of positivity. I am looking outside myself for guidance while rekindling bonds with spiritual teachings. Worldly tools won’t always solve worldly problems!
Birthed by clarity, I am now building a new foundation. A foundation that will allow me to help myself and - in the future - others from a healthier place. I am listening to my inner voice and not trying to drown it out. I am embracing this nature, nourish and nurture premise and even plan to document some of my journey on Rumble!
If you’re currently feeling overwhelmed by your pain and/or that of others, I hope this article inspires you to at least think about this mental health reset I’m undertaking. You don’t have to fill your mind with negative thoughts all day. You can choose to be positive. You can rebuild your foundations. You can put yourself first.
You can choose to laugh. Choose not to wallow in self-pity. Choose to overpower your addictions. Choose to level up as a dad. Choose to be a better friend. You can embrace life - something that is hard to do when stuck in a perpetual cycle of sadness, pain and trauma - and help yourself and others from a healthier place.
I know this could be a short road for me, and I might need to reach out for help sooner rather than later, but the darkness was suffocating and I’d rather swim than sink. I would rather step into life and escape a mind drowning in constant pain, dark thoughts, fear and worry.
With this new approach, I am starting to experience some happiness and joy again. Dare I say, I am slowly beginning to like my life again. I am doing my best to avoid the negativity trap. I’m working on overcoming lingering addictions and bad habits, but not allowing them to consume me.
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IMPORTANT
I don’t want you to think I’m advocating against opening up and sharing your struggles if you need to. If you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, then it might be best for you to reach out and seek professional help. It might be best to speak to someone who is equipped to give you the support and attention you need.
Speaking from experience, as someone who has had to reach out for help in the past, I know the benefits of opening up to others and sharing your struggles. I know that mental health issues should not be ignored and breaking the silence surrounding them can pave the way for healthier discussions and necessary support.
Recommended viewing
I also don’t want you to think you can’t help and support people in their times of need. Just understand that, as in my case now, it can sometimes be too much for a person to take on. I realise now that layering pain on top of pain, when sharing my own and hearing others, was detrimental to my mental health.
It might not be the same for you or the person in the video above, but it’s worth considering that when you take on a supportive role or find yourself regularly sharing your struggles, your mental health could potentially suffer. Hopefully, it won’t. But if does, hopefully, I’ve inspired you to consider a different - if only temporary - approach.
I am not a medical professional, therapist or psychiatrist, I’m just a man who recently felt like he was drowning in the murky waters of pain, sadness and trauma without a life raft - until a rescue boat filled with clarity, perspective and positivity led him away from the depression, anxiety and negativity he was sinking into.
I know this doesn’t mean my problems have magically disappeared and I’m under no illusion that they have, but by embracing the “nature, nourish and nurture” premise and not torturing myself with my own and other people’s pain, I feel I can overcome the mental health struggles I recently experienced.
I know this article was quite heavy and covered some sensitive topics, however, I appreciate you taking the time to read it. If anything resonates with you and you’d like to ask a question or comment, please get in touch. Also, please check out the related articles below.
Here are some helpful articles related to today’s post:
Check out the last post: “Flashback: Celebrate Life When You’re Facing Loss.”
Take care,
Birth of Clarity
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