The Moment Max Woke Up - One
Short story #1
Welcome to the Birth of Clarity newsletter.
Inspired by @Fury & @Viam, I sat down the other day and wrote a short story.
I'm still a little shocked that I did it as it came totally out of the blue!
However, I think I will continue to write some more over the next year and see if I can improve.
Anyway, I thought I would share the first page with you.
I hope you enjoy it.
One
The gunshot startled Max. The sound pierced the air in his two-bed terrace house with a harshness that he had never heard before. He sat up quickly in his bed.
Carol nearly jumped out of her skin beside him. The couple now looked at each other. Both of their eyes filled with panic and fear.
The father-of-one wondered whether he had really heard what he thought he had. He tried to piece together the couple’s evening. Had he left something out that the dog could have knocked over? Nothing sprang to his mind.
Carol, dressed only in a black silk nightgown, grabbed his arm with her shaking hand. “Was that a gun?” she whispered, struggling to control her breathing.
Her husband said nothing. Instead, he bolted out of their bed across the small room towards their wardrobe. They had outgrown the house. It was too small for a family of four.
Max pressed his finger to his lips, gesturing for his wife to stay quiet as he removed the baseball bat from behind the cupboard door. Was he finally going to use the bat he bought after binge-watching the American sport a few years ago?
Shivering and in shock, Carol grabbed the warm blanket that had fallen off her side of the bed and pulled it towards her mouth. She covered it in order to contain the screams she envisioned herself making. She watched as the man she loved left the room and made his way to the top of the stairs.
Max began to creep down each step as slowly as he could. His heart was almost beating out of his chest. He desperately didn’t want to disturb whoever was down there but, as he reached the halfway point of their staircase, he had a sudden realisation. What if the person really did have a gun?!
The noise of the gunfire sounded like it had come from the living room where Bolt, the couple’s trusty German Shepherd, slept. The dog was now barking, although Max was surprised he wasn’t causing more commotion.
Despite his apprehension, and now holding the baseball bat in his right hand, Max only had a couple of more steps left as he continued towards the lounge room. However, he was about to tread on the loose step. The one that made the most horrendous squeaking sound. The one he had promised his wife he would fix last month.
As his foot pressed on the wood, he knew instantly what was about to happen.
The sound of the step creaking stopped Bolt’s barking and all the energy in the house felt like it had shifted in his direction. He recoiled his foot as quickly as he could but he knew the damage had been done.
The former delivery driver had just given up his position and in doing so, had completely lost the element of surprise. The intruder would certainly rush towards him, he thought.
And sure enough, they did.
Please check out the AFF Newsletter here where I write raw and honest articles aimed at helping dads overcome alcohol addiction (& much more):
I hope you enjoyed reading this rough, one-take shot at the intro to my short story.
I’ve never actually written a story before so any feedback on this chapter would be appreciated. I’d love to hear your thoughts:
I will share the next page with you in a couple of weeks.
Thanks for reading,