Writing Legacy
Birth of Clarity #41
Welcome to the Birth of Clarity newsletter on Substack.
I recently shared a Note with my Substack followers that was kindly commented on by fellow Substacker and all-around awesome writer
. It wasn’t a post looking for sympathy or anything like that, it was a genuine observation and comment on how I currently feel. If I’m honest with myself, it’s something I’ve been feeling for a long time but never really voiced publicly.
As Viam alluded to, I imagine lots of writers feel similarly, at some point. For me though, I’m finding it hard to write while feeling like this. It seems counterintuitive. I know I want my writing to be more but with so many problems in my personal life currently, will I have to come to peace with the fact my writing won’t live on past my death? I love writing. Even publishing this feels good so maybe I should be happy…
However, like Viam and other writers such as
, , , , , , (and many more I’ve missed) whose writing will live on for years, I want to build my own writing legacy. I want to break free of the shackles I’ve placed on myself and push my writing to the next level. I don’t want fame or fortune, I want to write knowing it will live on. Is that too much to ask?!! ;)I find myself at a crossroads
I recently drafted an article in which I talked about struggling with imposter syndrome. Having named some excellent writers above, who have all created a legacy from their writing, I struggle to see myself ever getting to their level or getting the same amount of engagement or interaction on my posts. Mainly though, and more important to me, I struggle seeing my son wanting to read my articles - which hurts to admit.
I’ve been sharing personal content online now for over five years. I started by writing about my addiction to alcohol and my subsequent recovery journey and have since shared about everything in between. In fact, since 2019 I've been consistently writing for the world to read, in some form or another. And yet, in my opinion, I have not accomplished much from doing so.
I know five years isn’t long in the grand scheme of things but with crippling debts, no job and the knowledge that I use writing as a crutch, I am fully aware that I’m closing in on a significant point in my writing journey - if I’m not there already! Yes, I’ve enjoyed various successes over the years - from paid subscribers and kind words to shout-outs and offline connections - and I appreciate them all, but what now?
The way I see it, and as I’ve alluded to already, I have three options:
I continue writing publicly as normal
I start building a legacy with my writing
I write in private and stop sharing publicly
Another thing I’ve also considered, which falls into the first category, is that it doesn’t matter. I could write every day and it wouldn’t matter. I could write once a month and it wouldn’t matter. Because people will either read what I write or they won’t. They will either enjoy what I write or they won’t. I can’t change that. Ultimately what matters is the process, how I feel when I sit down to write and how I feel about the end product.
As someone who shares content online, the huge fear is that nobody will read your articles. I’ve deleted fully written posts instead of publishing them because of fear. I’ve worried about offending someone so I’ve censored myself. I’ve played it safe and written like a “Twitter self-help guru” because I’ve felt anxious about putting myself out there. Hundreds of posts sit in my drafts because I’ve been afraid to share them.
Recommended reading
However, this time it feels different. I don’t think the imposter syndrome soundtrack is playing as loud as it once did. I don’t think there’s a fear of publishing but rather, there appears to be a fear of not making the time I write count. The old soundtrack has been drowned out by my inner voice yelling for more. It wants me to build a writing legacy that my son can be proud of. I want to pass on something he can then pass on.
I’m proud of what I’ve accomplished so far. I have a modest readership on Substack. I have a couple of valued, loyal subscribers. I have helped people overcome their addictions. I’ve inspired some fathers on their journey - mainly through AFFathers. But I want more. I want my writing to make the reader feel something. I want to build a body of work that outdoes everything I’ve done up until now. I just don’t know what that looks like currently.
That’s why I find myself back at those three options. I can continue as I am. Writing with freedom, not worrying about statistics or “vanity metrics” and finding a process I enjoy. Or I can concentrate on writing articles that will live on past my death and be visited multiple times because they make the reader feel something. Or I can retire from writing online, and concentrate on writing for myself and my son. Maybe even write a book?
The Clarity Community is open. If you’re interested in joining, head over to Locals via the link below:
Conclusion
At the time of writing, I don’t know which route I’ll take. I’ve written this today because I’m going through a rough time and rather than wallow in negativity - something I have been avoiding since writing this post - I wanted to voice it. I wanted to include you in my thought process and share where I’m at. I love and appreciate you for taking the time to read this article. It might not seem like much to you, but it means a lot to me.
If you have any suggestions, questions or comments, please hit the “Leave a comment” button and make your voice heard. I will continue to share this journey with you in future articles, although I imagine you will notice the direction I’m taking when you read them. I’m blessed to have such wonderful readers and I hope to connect with more of you in the future. Below are some articles related to today’s post. Enjoy!
Suggested articles
Thank you for reading: “Writing Legacy.”
Check out the last post: “Flashback: No Substitute for the Real Thing.”
Take care,
Roscoe
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Mate, blown away you’d even mention me in the same breath as yourself and some of these others.
I completely understand where you’re at.
Try to write for yourself, with no expectations. Expectations are resentments waiting to happen. You have a following already, there’s just a lot of content online right now. Not to overdo the cliches, but comparison is the thief of joy, you know this.
You have something no one else has. Your story. It’s worth telling, especially as you grow and understand your own story more and more.
You’ll figure it out, mate. But please, keep writing.d
Appreciate the shout out Roscoe.
Write for yourself first and foremost. If others resonate with what you write, then that is just a beautiful, added bonus.
Some of the things I've enjoyed writing the most have also been my least liked by the metrics. I'm glad I published them anyway.
Keep up the good work. 💪