You Have The Power
Time To Flip Your Negative Mindset
Welcome back!
At the beginning of the year, I took to Twitter to make the statement that 2021 was going to be a pivotal year for me. And although this is still the case, my view has changed.
After so many bad years, I'll be honest, my outlook for this year was not a bright one. In fact, it was pretty bleak.
However, the tweet still had a faint hint of optimism even if I hadn’t actually put any positive habits into practice and I was still weighed down by the stresses I'd created for myself in my old job - and had isolated myself from many people I cared about.
I've been thinking about this tweet a lot over the past couple of days.
Yes, I wasn't in the best headspace when I wrote it but there is an element that rings true despite the dark undertones. I was determined to make it to the end of the year and I still am.
However, I am now looking to build upon this year and continue getting stronger with every year that passes!
Looking back, it is sometimes hard to remember your thought process when you said or wrote something at the time, but with this tweet, I vividly remember considering this to be my final year, if things didn’t improve. However, I wasn’t doing anything to make them improve.
If you’re in the same place I was, are you doing anything to improve your situation?
I know this is dark stuff, but I feel it important for me to share it as I want you to know that if you’re currently having those thoughts, they do pass.
Your circumstances change when you decide to make them change or when you stop allowing your circumstances to get the best of you.
The same can be said about not allowing your mind to get to a place where these negative emotions, feelings and more regrettably, actions, lead you into the darkness and to the point of no return.
We must learn to view the hardships we’re going through as nothing more than the journey of life - however painful it may be - because ultimately, our emotions are temporary but how our reactions could potentially have permanent effects (good or bad).
Remember, your inner dialogue has the power to either destroy you or strengthen you.
What a difference a month makes
Obviously, I cannot blame everything on my old job - the fact that I actually enjoyed it makes my whole transformation since leaving all the more baffling - but here we are.
Aside from my job, another thing that has changed is my relationships with people.
Some relationships that were previously toxic have improved with a few changes and relationships that had been lost have now been revisited.
However, the most important change is the relationship I have with myself.
I am now treating myself how I should’ve been. I am a father and I need to focus on the fact that if I succumb to negative thoughts or allow myself to be dragged down by my demons, I am of no use to my son.
I am practicing self-care for the first time in a long time.
As fathers/parents, we need to act accordingly in order to show our kids what a positive role model looks like. Our decisions and actions are being watched and mimicked.
Connection is king
It is easy to overlook the power of connecting with your fellow man. It's easy to take people for granted and the joy that connections bring. However, over the last month I've managed to reconnect with people that I'd allowed myself to drift apart from and it has dramatically improved my overall outlook on life once again.
Currently for me, whether it is brainstorming with an old friend about an upcoming project we are hoping to launch - more on that another time - or reconnecting with Jack and joining his Fit For Manhood group; the chance to talk to people who inspire me to stay on a positive course instead of entertaining the negative ones, is the ray of hope I needed whilst I was drowning in my own self-created despair.
Writing these newsletters has also had a massive impact on me. The responses I’ve received and the kind feedback I’ve gotten has inspired me and lifted my spirits.
Could I ask you to quickly share the newsletter in order for us to reach more people? Thank you!
Conclusion
It is easy to disappear into the darkness and not realise you’re lost.
But fighting your way back to the light is something that takes real strength and having spoken to a few of you who are on magnificent journey’s of sobriety, your strength is something to be very proud of and is an inspiration to me.
You may have started the year questioning, as I did, whether this could potentially be your final year.
Well, if this rings true for you then please consider that you are reading the account of someone else who thought that way too and is now navigating the bumpy road to a more fulfilled life, all with just a few alterations to his mindset, routines and attitude.
I am here to lend an ear if you need me and I will be here writing content for you in order to highlight these struggles and ways to overcome them.
Comfort is a cage. Do hard things.
Before I sat down to write this, I remembered that Dennis on Twitter would say some things so simple yet until now, I never really grasped the true nature of their meaning.
I can link Dennis’ words back to how I felt in my original tweet at the start of this newsletter.
I had become comfortable in my misery - as crazy as that sounds - and I enjoyed the company of my self-pity and self-hatred.
I had caged myself in with my negative emotions and was willing to sit with them until the end of the year...
However, by doing hard things - introducing new routines, learning a new job and walking away from ‘toxic’ relationships - I have stepped out of my comfort zone and into the realm of self-growth and improvement.
I took action and if I can do it, so can you.
You don’t have to have a self-destructive mindset anymore. You have the power to change it.
Connect with others. Get out of your comfort zone. Do hard things. And remember, you’re in control. You have the power. Use it to better yourself.
Thank you for reading “You Have The Power”.
I appreciate the positive responses I got from my last newsletter “When Vultures Hover”.
Take care,
Roscoe
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Again very relatable and like you wanting to keep practicing good habits and remaining optimistic. Really enjoyed reading the newsletter, thanks for that.